April Mom of the Month: Tearra
Tell us a little about yourself?
My name is Tearra, I have 2 girls, Toi and Drew ages 13 and 6. I am a yogi and wellness coach. I found my passion for helping women achieve peace and balance in their lives while spending more than a decade working in public relations and branding. I was a teen (17) when I had my first child, and didn’t want to be labeled a statistic, so I worked extremely hard to push myself through undergraduate and my master’s program and beyond the societal pressures. Being a teen mom and woman of color, there are so many odds playing against you.
What is the best part about being a mom?
The best part of being a girl mom is watching my two kids who are total opposites become their own person. Although we instill so many qualities into our children, watching them evolve and create their own narrative is rewarding. My oldest leads and guides my youngest in her own way, and extremely helpful. The best reward is their bond in helping each other whenever possible.
How was it when you had your second child?
My kids are 7 years apart, so it felt like I was starting over. So much has changed with everything you buy, even breastfeeding was different. The time and attention was different, I got to spend a lot more time with Drew and bond a lot more. With Toi, I was in school and balancing so much, so I didn’t get to spend as much time with her as I would have liked.
What do you find challenging about motherhood?
Balance for sure. Balance between working, personal life and being a mother can be very hard. This prompted me to embark on the journey of self care and helping other women find themselves in wellness. Trying to find the balance and time to spend with my children separately, is so important for them and me. They each have different needs, and for me to be actively involved with them individually allows me to connect with them in a more meaningful way.
What’s one thing you had to overcome with being a mother?
Trying to please everyone and trying to do everything everyone else saw fit for me. People would have soooo many opinions and at one time it was difficult to not hold these things against myself. It was hard to try to not please everyone. With being a mother, I grew to overcome the challenges of taking advice from everyone on how to be a parent, instead I learned to just live and fit things into my lifestyle that I found important.
What’s something that’s important to you?
It’s important to me that my girls are well rounded in both life's experiences and intellectually. I say this because this day in age, there is no room for you to lack intelligence. So it's very important for me to make sure the girls understand self-awareness first and the world we live in. Also, knowing who they are at the core without the titles, without the pressures of whether you live in a two parent household, or if your parents are married. I want my girls to be wealthy in the mind and rich mentally. Creating generational wealth is very important for my children and grandchildren.
What effect has the pandemic had on you?
For the girls, it has taken a toll on them socially because they need that social interaction, which is so important to them. With the kids being home so much more, I got to see how they were in different environments with school, as I was able to understand their needs more. I learned so much patience with the girls during the pandemic. I’m so used to having more time at home alone, now with the kids, I had to prepare myself a lot more to have the kids organized and prepared for at-home learning.
What inspires you to be the best mom you can be?
My children inspire me to be the best mom. It inspires me to be someone they can look up to by providing them a great example of someone who is well mentally and spiritually grounded. Even in being a teen mother, I created a narrative of what I wanted my life to be. A life worth living, a journey worth traveling that is so rewarding. They inspire me to create a strong foundation they can share with their children.
What will you tell your children about how to be optimistic in today’s world?
I would tell them not to internalize what’s happening in the world and don’t equate that to how you should show up. Always look at the positive in any negative situation. Do everything in love and keep a positive energy and outlook.
What are 3 things you can’t live without?
My phone, my gratitude journal because when I see it on paper, it makes it real. I also can’t live without fitness and yoga because it’s my safe haven and my moving meditation.
What would you do if you have 3 hours of no responsibilities?
I would meditate, go to the spa and lay on the beach with a good self-help book.
What’s one thing you wish another mom would have told you about motherhood?
That there is no right or wrong way to parent. There is no blueprint, we are all learning as we go. I would have appreciated another mom telling me to do what works for you, something that aligns or resonates with you at one point, may change. I was always striving for perfection, which is something you just won’t find through motherhood.